'Twas the Night before Christmas
(YTB version by Steve Mencik)
(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
The YTB minions were happy, all was just grand,
Their websites were posted, their blogs filled with air,
In hopes that many travelers would soon visit there.
The RTAs and the REPs were all snug in their beds,
While visions of dollar signs danced in their heads.
The Coach and his son and their jolly elf Kim,
Would make sure that the money would simply rush in.
Then some REPs misbehaved at trade shows and FAM trips,
TTAs and suppliers said they acted like Dips.
John started a blog to discuss all this stuff,
The YTB crowd dismissed it as fluff.
He noted the fact that the average RTA,
Received next to nothing in annual pay.
The crowd said that those facts were real hazy,
You only would fail if you were very lazy.
The Coach and his cronies bought an abandoned K-Mart,
From there their empire would get a great start.
The loan for the land came from a sweetheart bank,
Run by a YTB director, and soon that bank sank.
Another director had a plane on sale for a while,
So the YTB three bought it, to travel in style.
While the company was growing, they raked in the money,
But they needed to stash it before things got funny.
They threw a big bash in the town of St. Louis,
With trimmings and trappings that were all superfluous.
The biggest attraction was a statue of foam,
That made all the environmentalists grimace and groan.
A Grumpy Old Agent started a long Card Mill list,
YTB was on it, I'm sure they were pissed.
RCL took notice and Perillo did too,
Soon even IATA said, "YTB you're through!"
But Coach said, "Who needs them, we'll be okay"
"We've got an ARC number, we're here to stay."
The California AG looked hard, yes he did,
And finally decided YTB's a pyramid.
Some former RTAs thought that they had been swindled,
They filed their lawsuits, YTBs numbers they dwindled.
While the SEC filings showed ever large losses,
The YTB minions cheered on their bosses.
Things aren't so bad, but the stock it would sink,
The stock could only be listed on sheets that are pink.
The DSA says we're great, why give us that ink?
How could it be bad, YTB's featured in Inc.?
But the losses were mounting, the effects they were telling,
YTB started to shed assets they were selling.
First an office they'd bought only one year before,
With office equipment included and more.
Then they sold off the jet to a company unknown,
But wait, the deal's off, they couldn't get a loan.
So they found another firm, but that deal wouldn't stay,
So Coach and his son figured out another way.
So the YTB three read on up on Robert Irsay,
And said to themselves maybe it's better this way.
We'll take our trucks to the K-Mart loading docks,
And empty the place and change all the locks.
We'll fill up the jet and to Rio we'll go,
We'll be out of the country and have all of our dough!
The three laughed as they left and soared out of sight,
"Sorry suckers!", they said, "have a pleasant good night."
